I love this thread too much, I have to put this here first, let it stay for a while..
Subversion.
I've come to defile what I've held sacred,
No qualms, keeping calm while decoding her.
Slowly, I shed all the layers as she stays still,
In rapt anticipation of what will occur.
I must, but resist the urge I feel most,
Subversion must taper my errant thought
I'm not here for that, should not care for it,
My perversions tempered, I'm overwrought.
Yet still writhing within me this twin I've
Contrived from her (named , nursed - grown and cherished) ,
Lives free clouding my only true memories.
Choked down inside, ( broken and cursed), all have perished.
I'm here to destroy what I've fetishized.
Damming my delusion, fixing its end.
But these obessesions possess me, sick miscreations
Suppress good intentions, leaving anguish to extend...
Through her eyes I feel myself suffering,
Her voice massaging my shattered ideals.
Her small talking infused with concern and pity.
I crawl away too weary to fight my ordeals.
Learning to relish the disappointments.
Most days a bit less sick in my insides,
Becoming complacent, pleased with minor control
Or better at containing the pain my soul hides.
Merely skin contact and I'm sunken in,
Held back must not make tendrils of my limbs.
Apart now, not too close to feed on her calm warmt.
Away, unable to act on my wicked whims.
She cares not, needs not know why I cringe.
I wont spill, must kill the myth still thriving.
Sharing in my suffering will destroy us both.
Only on inhibition we continue surviving.