Child Abuse

[Resha]

Our society only becomes concern for our children when something happens to them.


This is true statment for those who may think there is less hope for our society....
This is also a false statment for those who can make a difference in society. Make the right choice for our children....

 

[RauCous]

You're right i dont have faith in our society. I still maintain my belief that masses of the population are stupid. We have the means to reduce crime but most of us just dont care. They concern some show is always after the fact look when Hope was murdered, outside the courtroom there was a hell of alot of angry people wanting to kill... sorry i meant murder the man. They were all up in arms wanting to exact revenge on him.
How is it that for most crimes people dont assemble en masse outside courtrooms to show disapproval? Why is it that only child murders incite such strong displays of emotion and disgust. Is this the only crime we care about anymore.
I believe all levels crime is wrong i dont care if its murder, abuse, kidnapping, arms possesion, trafficking, driving drunk- all crimes should should carry the same level of disgust. No one should want to be a weed user or a media pirate just like no one want to be the man who killed Hope or who shot the little boy and his father. Trinidad and Tobago must learn to dispise crime in all it's forms and not just get caught up in the hype of another child murder or kidnapping. If only we were to show concern before something happened then we could keep our children safer. When i travel to school i see little children who seem to be traveling for longer than i have, i find that terrifying, how can so many children be unttended in these times- but if something were to happen of course there would be public outrage of course there would be tons of 'support'. The majority of people have to learn to be proactively concerned for our youth and to care before stuff happens- nothing can be done after the fact, just of a waste of emotion and heated words thats all. Thats how Trinidad is its a fad to care when crap happens not before, just like its a fad to bash the authorities for our fellowman's wrong while we lie down and do nothing.

 

[Resha]

I support the above statments made by RauCous. However, please don't get carried away by the failure of our authorites. We the individual can make a difference to society.... Even on this site !!! Crime comes in different forms... Child abuse is something we can try to change to make a difference in someone life... So i hope individuals can come forward with their problems and we can try to help...It's a start..

 

[RauCous]

I believe the leadership has it roles but i also belive the citizenry has a function to play and that they are neglecting it.
Inspite of this I do believe individuals can make a difference i just dont believe that the majority are willing to. Once we lose the fear thats bred into us then we'd realise how incredibly easy it is to deal with these issuses. Odds are that each individual has had at least one terrible encounter during childhood once we realise that and once talk of child abuse stops being taboo in our country then we'd feel more comfortable dealing with it. It's the fear and shame that we have to get past, its still so prevalent in our country that its become part of our culture. Instead of exposing it we hide it to save face when truly the only one who should feel the shame is the offender. Maybe it has come so far that people expect that certain abusive behaviours are normal that they dont recognise them when they see them or even when they perpitrate them. There's enough of an infastructure for us to be dealing with abuse, it may not have mainstream support but by using the options available to us we can show how effective dealing with abuse can be, and greater interest and support will come.

 

[-Kevin-]

Damn.. What An Introduction..

 

[Resha]

Yesterday i spoke to a 14 year old school girl for about an hour straight.... She spoke about her mother's behaviour towards her. When growing up as a child she never got the attention she needed... She was never corrected when she had done something wrong. Her father who has a very good job, drinks alot and does not have the time to spent with her... She back answeres her teacher, always into trouble in school and at home... She also said it herself that she tried to change but too much negativity surround her....

What advice can someone gave to this teen?

 

[RauCous]

Disclaimer: leave it to people trained for this. Its important not to tell her what to do but to allow her to come to her conclusions just make sure they are sane ones. You shouldn't risk suggesting thoughts into her mind thats kinda dangerous especially because of the fact you dont know all the factors involved.

First you have to remind her that alot of who we are doesnt depend on our environment its still dependant on the choices that we make. Then allow her to align herself with good traits from people who represent who'd she'd rather be like. This way she can define herself by allowing herself to be influenced by what she considers to be good. What she really needs is a good role model to emulate... its so hard to find these days.
Sometimes people trying to change keep a journal, just to remind themselves of their goals and progress they've made. But first she has to know who she wants to be... nothing's worse than wanting change but not knowing what that change is. She needs to define what she wants to be... and just because she changes doesnt mean everyone around her will... Basically it's just defining her problem (only she needs to know what that is) and making goals to achieve what she wants... which needs to be realistic.
But for real you shouldn't delve too deeply into this unless you're a trained counsellor.

 

[Resha]

wow......... you really know ur thing... im not a trained counselor as yet but jus certified at the begining of counselling.... thats y i jus listen to the young girl rather than say what to do.... its never good to give advice but rather listen, ask question and let her figure out the problem... but thanks for ur thoughts on it and i will let u know the progress...

 

[admin]

One think i know you never give advice never that's the first thing you should learn lol you only set them in a direction where they will know and make the decisions fro them selves

 

[Resha]

I read in an article in the newspaper about the neglect of parents..... Father, mother and daughter...
Father comes home from work and in the night goes to the daughter's room.. the daughter was only eight...
The father fondles with her by touching her and saying to her that "ur're daddy's little girl and this is our secret"
Child of eight does not understand what's going on so she kept it a secret to protect her mother... At the age of twelve when the child starts her menstrual, the father said to her "ur a big girl now and it's time to take it a step further"... They started having sex.... the girl new this was uncommon because none of her friends talk about their relationship with their father like the one she has with her father... She eventually bought the matter up with her mother... to her surprise the mother knew what was going on for the pass several years... on that same day the mother approach the father to stop this nuisance but in return was slap,kick and cuffed... Later that night while the father slept on the couch, the daughter took the largest knife she could fine and stabe her father several times.... The question still remains why didn't the mother do something..... Parents take action for your mistakes........

 

[LadyDeath]

Jed i dunno why some mothers are afraid of their husbands when these incidents are taking place...thats your child you supose to do everything to keep them safe....sigh*

 

[RauCous]

whoa for real she really stab him..? Was it out of fear or anger? Guess its over now... i hope... But true its how adults deal with these issuses that determine how the children respond to people who abuse them. Once a child has the support of at least one parent you can be sure the abuser will be caught. I can never understand why it is so hard for us to confront it head on. Abuse is prevalent part of some peoples daily lives but when it comes to stopping it thier seems to be no interest, like it doesnt exist. Dealing with it shouldn't be a shameful thing dont know why some make it look that way.

 

[Resha]

Alot of teenagers have problems in dealing with personal matters... the last place they want to turn to is their parents... I think they rather turn to their friends or cousins or someone very close to them... I myself would turn to friends or other family members except for my parents... why??? I really don't know... My parents are fine but why???I think I must ponder on that matter....

 

[madsuya]

my friend mother died when she was nine and for twelve years later her father was having his way wit her, he would go in her room nightly, also make her sit on is lap,her brothers did not know wat he was up to coz he was always strick wit them ,they could not answer him back he was a cop, when she started convent she moved out and stayed in town wit aunty, he then turned to a little boy next door, timmy was forced to give him orals because he needed money. i myself was abused by three individuals growin up, but my mother did nothin coz it was family members, now i still hurt bout that and no one understands your moods some times when parents was in that situation and never receive help, they dont know how to HELP kids . ITS NO EXCUSE THOU BECAUSE IT HURTS ALL INVOLVES !!!!!!

 

[madsuya]

PARENTS PAY MORE ATTENTION TO UR CHILD !!! U BROUGHT THEM HERE!!! THEY DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN!!!

 

[RauCous]

Yeah parenting duties go way beyond just providing food and shelter. Kids want interaction sometimes we just wanna talk to someone but for some like me it just seems to late. I'm too old now it'll feel retarded. I just wish i had a more involving relationship thats all.

 

[Resha]

Today's Newsday had an article on Suicide.. A very intelligent young girl Casey, great parents and siblings....
Her mother Cindy, had lost her mother and brother about 1 year ago... the brother Earl, was a drunk and had depression...
One day the family had gone to wedding but Earl said he would stay home... that same day he drank all he can drink, went to his room, tie a rope around his neck and hang himself..... one year later Cindy's mother was so sad and depress over her son dying she kill herself by ingesting weedicide... Cindy life change around as she got married and had her children...everything was great... But her daughter Casey who was everybody's friend in school, started to stray.... She arrives home late , making excuses, liming with only males friends as she started to real a bit depressed... She eventually got pregnant... Did not know who the father was because slept around...
no one supported her... brought shame to her family... One day she just ingested weedicide but luckily for her, she was rush to the hospital in time... Casey and her family started Counselling... As the doctor taught he was making a break throught, Casey pass away two days later.. the weedicide was too much in her body...

Never think its too late to help change someone's life ..... There is always a reason for someone's depression...

 

[LadyDeath]

Well I Know Someone Really A close friend of mine their mother ships a container of drugs every month for shares throughout trinidad and their parents own a big company here also.. mother Physically abuses her and she has beed abducted and raped several times and counting beacuse of what her mother does her father also verbally and physically abuses her she asks her parents to leave the country for her safe wellfare but they don't listen all they do is jus ignore her because of this she took it now on her own to tell teachers in skool but they ended up telling her parents for parents day and they denied everythin...She tried calling the police in her village but they did nothing all they said was that they woulld investigate into the matter...no one takes her seriously wah u think she should do?

 

[-Kevin-]

PARENTS PAY MORE ATTENTION TO UR CHILD !!! U BROUGHT THEM HERE!!! THEY DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN!!!

Worddddddd.. :!:

 

[Resha]

Reply to Karina: I guess its ture when they say "people with alot of money is never happy" That situation is a very tricky one... No one to turn too... If she reported the matter to the police and they actually do something, she mit also be arrested. I guess she could finish school and then move away from them...