Was motivated by a certain user to post this

[Shadowhunter]

Okay I've been thinking about this a lot and I can think of two related scenarios from school. When I started my first high school, I didn't know anyone or anything about anyone. As students filled me on how things worked, they also felt it necessary to include gossip and popular opinions on the reputation of others. Stories about two students stood out to me in particular.

1. After a very respectful, polite young man stood up for me against someone that was threatening to physically harm me, I was later crowded by other classmates who felt it was necessary to inform me of his "past". I was told that he was known as "pampers" boy because he could not control his bowel movements in primary school and wore pampers extensively. When I asked why it was relevant and why they would pick on him like that, they laughed and told me he was scornful to be around and turned the topic into a joke. It took til this thread and lots of deep thinking for me to remember him that way because I've always considered him a normal person; albeit quite talented, intelligent, and friendly with evidently admirable morals.


2. One year when we entered new classes, the same kind of talking was taking place with who knew who from when. Two students were having a very obvious falling out and it became a topic of discussion. I was told that one of the girls had gotten her period in form one and had messed up all her clothing etc and had told the other girl, her best friend. The best friend supposedly came to school the next day with a hamper of menstrual pads and underwear stained with red ink/paint and made a show of passing it around for everyone to see that it was for the embarrassed girl and why. The girl was obviously made fun of because of it and was given insulting nicknames involving words relating to feminine hygiene. It continued to baffle us why they remained best friends as the best friend continued exploiting her straight up until we graduated, but all of her behaviors were excused by everyone since they were friends and whenever the girl tried to end the friendship she was put on guilt trips by both students and teachers. Another prime example of how abusive behaviors are condoned and encouraged in this country IMO.

 

[mcf]

Shadow hunter in the first case,that extremely heart-touching how could they call the boy pampers boy he just could control his bowels when this happen in primary or secondary though but u knw if it happen to dem they would feel it,that is funny or a joke.
Case 2,related to ladydeath but i dont understand why students make fun of others.hope that in both cases they got a change of clothes though...but its said...thanks though

 

[Shadowhunter]

I'm sure there are others who may have experienced that issue or similar problems. By getting more awareness of it we can perhaps understand it better and extend support.

 

[mcf]

True tlk.im sure there is alot but who would want to admit it they had those problems and yes ofc we can help those who have been through similar cases and understand their viewpoints of the situations presented

 

[nirtime]

I'm sure there are others who may have experienced that issue or similar problems. By getting more awareness of it we can perhaps understand it better and extend support.

Alright I didn't want to but I'll drop an odd ball. In my form 1 and 2 days, I was made a laughing stock by my classmates because I couldn't speak fluently. I would stutter. I still stutter but I'm now I'm not afraid to give someone a serious tongue lashing for it even with my eaten up words.
People would deliberately spite me by stuttering when I was around, they would read to the teacher as if they were stuttering and everybody in the class would just laugh at me. People thought I was gay because I used to stutter I would "clam up" when they would mock me. I didn't talk to any of the girls because I always felt they would think I was gay or weird because I couldn't speak properly and they pretty much did.

My bad reputation among the class stemmed from the very person who entered the school with me from primary school. That person spread a lot of false information about me and who I was and made me a further laughing stock in addition to my speech. As Shadowhunter has said in another thread, children at all ages are highly impressionable and so I wished to have a positive reputation and I felt at the time that I wasn't given that opportunity due to all the false information that was spread in attempt to blacklist me.

I eventually became isolated from everyone else and would be laughed at and made fun off. People would deliberately stutter while calling my name and saying things like when he introduces himself you could imagine how it is.

At a tender age that was hard to deal with, its nothing like it is now. It left me with a lot of emotional scarring and internal mental issues I had to work out on my own because nobody was there to help me yet alone understand. My parents never understood my problem and didn't make it any better, they would discipline me for my bad behaviour at home without looking at the root cause of aggression. I suffered with suicidal thoughts and actions for those years and cried every single day of my life for 2 years straight. Life was never good for me during those 24 months and it is still hard for me to think about the problems I went through sometimes.

Even after that, for about 3 years after it was not easy for me to move on. I lived with an extreme lack of confidence and self esteem and would often exhibit aggressive behaviour at home which led to my parents reacting with greater force rather than trying to understand the problems. Combined with the criticism and relative inability to find a true friend I suffered majorly and continued to feel suicidal for some time till I almost did the unthinkable. It didn't help that I was used and abused by a certain person who claimed to a friend for those 3 years. Theres a lot of finer details that I omitted from this post to keep it to the point.

If anyone says they know what isolation and ridicule is, that person is me. While I was not disabled I was made an outcast and suffered the same psychological issues as those people with disabilities and so I know fully well what they are suffering from/ have suffered.

To this date I have become a a solid, fortified brick wall which does not crumble and fall for any criticism or any word that anyone has to offer. I am true to the source and accept no liabilities I may cause from being myself. I continue to be humble and maintain my sense of compassion and understanding for human beings as I've since built a wall of confidence with a wealth of esteem that has enabled me to go above and beyond. I have learned things and am able to recognize various elements in situations that people often do not recognize due to my unique history. I continue to follow Mr.Toyoda's words as I continuously improve to be better and better every year. People's hurtful ways are no match for what I have become and I always try to help those who have faced similar or may feel that they are dying from the problems they face.

High school remains one of my most hated things in my life ever. Since graduating I have never looked back and I always hope that people can recognize what they do to others. Peer pressure and situational constraints have led to other kids taking their own lives or living the rest of their lives with social issues. I live with none of those negative effects but I am truly a unique person to have made it out without any negative effects but so many positives.

 

[rye]

dawg that was alot doh but i the pain felt cannot be erased u will try to forget but its there........diz a essay...dawg but girls shouldnt discriminate though but what shadowhunter and lady death posted which is worse ? but i feel the pain.

 

[nirtime]

dawg that was alot doh but i the pain felt cannot be erased u will try to forget but its there........diz a essay...dawg but girls shouldnt discriminate though but what shadowhunter and lady death posted which is worse ? but i feel the pain.

Its not abut worst but rather, the similarities. All of the stories are tied to the same thing, the biggest challenge being people discriminating against you. Its a very hard to deal with at 11 and 12 years old. Most adults don't get that and feel its easy to say well just ignore ppl. There's so much they miss.

Personally I have no pain inside, no regrets, no emotions. I did something really unique which is to move on totally. Most people cannot do it and still remain with a lot of emotional scarring. I have turned that pain into benefits that help me to live a more successful and prepared life.

I maintain an air of mystery over my history and general life

 

[rye]

tru but is is feeling felt and embarrassment but u hadda break out of that chain

 

[nirtime]

tru but is is feeling felt and embarrassment but u hadda break out of that chain

Man feelings and embarrassment is what I felt back in those days, these days I just consider it a learning experience because thats what it amounts to. There is nothing to feel for me, no chain I need to break , did that a few years ago.

"Every bad experience leads to a positive."

 

[Shadowhunter]

Alright I didn't want to but I'll drop an odd ball. In my form 1 and 2 days, I was made a laughing stock by my classmates because I couldn't speak fluently. I would stutter. I still stutter but I'm now I'm not afraid to give someone a serious tongue lashing for it even with my eaten up words.
People would deliberately spite me by stuttering when I was around, they would read to the teacher as if they were stuttering and everybody in the class would just laugh at me. People thought I was gay because I used to stutter I would "clam up" when they would mock me. I didn't talk to any of the girls because I always felt they would think I was gay or weird because I couldn't speak properly and they pretty much did.

My bad reputation among the class stemmed from the very person who entered the school with me from primary school. That person spread a lot of false information about me and who I was and made me a further laughing stock in addition to my speech. As Shadowhunter has said in another thread, children at all ages are highly impressionable and so I wished to have a positive reputation and I felt at the time that I wasn't given that opportunity due to all the false information that was spread in attempt to blacklist me.

I eventually became isolated from everyone else and would be laughed at and made fun off. People would deliberately stutter while calling my name and saying things like when he introduces himself you could imagine how it is.

At a tender age that was hard to deal with, its nothing like it is now. It left me with a lot of emotional scarring and internal mental issues I had to work out on my own because nobody was there to help me yet alone understand. My parents never understood my problem and didn't make it any better, they would discipline me for my bad behaviour at home without looking at the root cause of aggression. I suffered with suicidal thoughts and actions for those years and cried every single day of my life for 2 years straight. Life was never good for me during those 24 months and it is still hard for me to think about the problems I went through sometimes.

Even after that, for about 3 years after it was not easy for me to move on. I lived with an extreme lack of confidence and self esteem and would often exhibit aggressive behaviour at home which led to my parents reacting with greater force rather than trying to understand the problems. Combined with the criticism and relative inability to find a true friend I suffered majorly and continued to feel suicidal for some time till I almost did the unthinkable. It didn't help that I was used and abused by a certain person who claimed to a friend for those 3 years. Theres a lot of finer details that I omitted from this post to keep it to the point.

If anyone says they know what isolation and ridicule is, that person is me. While I was not disabled I was made an outcast and suffered the same psychological issues as those people with disabilities and so I know fully well what they are suffering from/ have suffered.

To this date I have become a a solid, fortified brick wall which does not crumble and fall for any criticism or any word that anyone has to offer. I am true to the source and accept no liabilities I may cause from being myself. I continue to be humble and maintain my sense of compassion and understanding for human beings as I've since built a wall of confidence with a wealth of esteem that has enabled me to go above and beyond. I have learned things and am able to recognize various elements in situations that people often do not recognize due to my unique history. I continue to follow Mr.Toyoda's words as I continuously improve to be better and better every year. People's hurtful ways are no match for what I have become and I always try to help those who have faced similar or may feel that they are dying from the problems they face.

High school remains one of my most hated things in my life ever. Since graduating I have never looked back and I always hope that people can recognize what they do to others. Peer pressure and situational constraints have led to other kids taking their own lives or living the rest of their lives with social issues. I live with none of those negative effects but I am truly a unique person to have made it out without any negative effects but so many positives.

I can really empathize with this. I was deemed an outcast almost as soon as I started high school because of the way I looked and talked. Granted, this was not disability related, but I was bullied to a terrible extent in school by students and staff which led to a suicidal depression for some years. I agree that students with disabilities are much more easily targeted though. I think the biggest problem is that people can react so cruelly to others freely, openly, and it is accepted! It's so sad that society is overflowing with people who hurt others and in many cases, with no remorse. The pain cannot be undone, but we can learn from those experiences how to find good things in life when things seem darkest and gain an incredible amount of resilience that comes in quite handy throughout life.


I'll quote nirtime here again:

I have turned that pain into benefits that help me to live a more successful and prepared life.

^That's the best way to react to these events IMO. Personally, I'm not there 100% yet and I know the path to get to that point can be quite trying, but it's definitely worth it!

 

[mcf]

so srrry to hear of that though...bullying happens in school everywhere once you look and personality fits this.howver,some use bullying as a way to learn from because if your being bullied,one day you would get fed up and eventually fight back.Once you show dem you as strong as dem due to fight or cuss or something it should resolve the matter,so srry to heaar bout that shadow hunter.OH yes,the pain u cant recover from just like rye

when this happen in the early days of high school or late days of high school

 

[Shadowhunter]

so srrry to hear of that though...bullying happens in school everywhere once you look and personality fits this.howver,some use bullying as a way to learn from because if your being bullied,one day you would get fed up and eventually fight back.Once you show dem you as strong as dem due to fight or cuss or something it should resolve the matter,so srry to heaar bout that shadow hunter.OH yes,the pain u cant recover from just like rye

when this happen in the early days of high school or late days of high school

It happened throughout my high school experience. I just started thanking people for their insults and embarrassed some through sarcasm and once they saw I didn't really care and didn't appear hurt/bothered by it they backed off to a great extent. There was also a group of students that took to me and protected me for a period of time, so when anyone tried to bother me someone would say "ey she knows this person" and all would back off.

A very important point I'd like to make is that we are not defined by our experiences or pain. I think it's better to define oneself by one's own actions and morals and how you go about your daily life presently as you work towards your future. That is entirely up to each of us. We cannot control how others act, but we can control and are responsible for how we respond. There are indeed some very painful experiences in life but there's so much more to life too! Sometimes you can't see what's in front of you when you're looking behind you.