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- Jun 10, 2008
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WAT D ****!!! - THE OFFICE OF THE PRIME MINISTER
OFFICIAL RELEASE
Subject: Early Retirement
Date: Tue, 26 May 2009 12:35:08 +0000
Dear Countrymen,
Due to the current financial crisis, your PNM Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to our government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance) Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP.
Sincerely,
Patrick Augustus Manninng,
The Father and the brains of the Nation
p.s Parliamentarians are exempt and will not be RAPED.
OFFICIAL RELEASE
Subject: Early Retirement
Date: Tue, 26 May 2009 12:35:08 +0000
Dear Countrymen,
Due to the current financial crisis, your PNM Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to our government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance) Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP.
Sincerely,
Patrick Augustus Manninng,
The Father and the brains of the Nation
p.s Parliamentarians are exempt and will not be RAPED.
mg: :icon_neutral: :icon_neutral: it just aint pretty. :nono: