- Joined
- Jun 29, 2008
- Messages
- 358
> > This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
> > The only friction in their marriage
> > was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
> > The noise would wake his wife
> > and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
> > Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
> > because it was making her sick.
> > He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
> > She told him to see a doctor;
> > she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
> > The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
> > Then one Thanksgiving morning
> > as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
> > and he was upstairs sound asleep,
> > she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards
> > and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
> > and a malicious thought came to her.
> > She took the bowl and went upstairs
> > where her husband was sound asleep and,
> > gently pulling back the bed covers,
> > she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants
> > and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
> > Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> > which was followed by a blood curdling scream
> > and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
> > The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
> > tears in her eyes!
> > After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
> > About twenty minutes later,
> > her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants
> > with a look of horror on his face.
> > She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
> > He said, 'Honey, you were right.'
> > 'All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
> > 'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
> > 'Well, you always told me that one day
> > I would end up farting my guts out,
> > and today it finally happened.
> > But by the grace of God,
> > some Vaseline,
> > and two fingers,
> > I think I got Most of them back in.'
> > The only friction in their marriage
> > was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
> > The noise would wake his wife
> > and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
> > Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off
> > because it was making her sick.
> > He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
> > She told him to see a doctor;
> > she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
> > The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
> > Then one Thanksgiving morning
> > as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
> > and he was upstairs sound asleep,
> > she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards
> > and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts
> > and a malicious thought came to her.
> > She took the bowl and went upstairs
> > where her husband was sound asleep and,
> > gently pulling back the bed covers,
> > she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants
> > and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
> > Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
> > which was followed by a blood curdling scream
> > and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
> > The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
> > tears in her eyes!
> > After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
> > About twenty minutes later,
> > her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants
> > with a look of horror on his face.
> > She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
> > He said, 'Honey, you were right.'
> > 'All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
> > 'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
> > 'Well, you always told me that one day
> > I would end up farting my guts out,
> > and today it finally happened.
> > But by the grace of God,
> > some Vaseline,
> > and two fingers,
> > I think I got Most of them back in.'
