- Joined
- Jun 29, 2008
- Messages
- 358
Hello and welcome to the MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE.
If you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, press 1, repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5 & 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a Manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press ... no-one will answer.
If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.
If you are suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, press 1, repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5 & 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are a Manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press ... no-one will answer.
If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.
