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Though April is known as Child Abuse Awareness Month, many people still do know know what child abuse is or understand how detrimental it can be to the health and well-being of children.
Here are some popular excuses given for staying silent about, encouraging, or doling out child abuse:
Child abuse isn't just about those viral videos of babies being kicked down, pushed down, and slapped around in tubs of scalding hot water, or of kidnapped 5-7 year olds being raped or sodomized to death. It can be in abusive actions we have been desensitized to accept as the "norm" and our silence allows it to continue.
All of the following are examples of child abuse:
There are ways to discipline a child without causing emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, or verbal harm. Abuse is a very vicious cycle that is known for its continuity as many victims are at high risk for either becoming abusers themselves or, because they have been carefully groomed into the victim role, they may become a victim for another abuser.
Some people simply repeat what they know, what they have experienced, and what they have seen others doing. They convince themselves that nothing is wrong with their abuser(s) or themselves and may find themselves acting out accordingly, causing harm to others and defending their own abusive actions as the norm, all that they know, not that bad, or something that can't be helped. People that encourage and enable abuse have a devastating impact on abuse cases. They are inadvertently (and sometimes quite intentionally) silencing, shaming, and blaming the victim and boosting the abuser's confidence and actions, thus worsening the abusive situation and often helping to perpetuate the cycle. Consider too, that there are abusers who know exactly what they are doing and intentionally seek to harm children. One child's silence allows the abuser to continue having an unsuspected reputation and easily prey on others, which is often the case.
If you suspect that a child is being abused, or if a child has come to you talking about it, PLEASE do not silence, blame, or shame them; belittle their pain and confusion; or sweep it under the rug. Report it to the police, make an anonymous report to Childline (800-4321), talk to a social worker, or go to someone else that can take such actions.
Here are some popular excuses given for staying silent about, encouraging, or doling out child abuse:
- "They need to be kept in line"
- "He/she look for it"
- "He/She was unwanted in the first place
- "They deserve far worse"
- "In my day that was nothing"
- "I went through the same thing/worse, why can't they?"
- "Not my kid, not my problem"
- "I don't want to mind people's business"
- "If it wasn't for him/her things would be better"
- "It is the parent's/relative's/adult's right to 'discipline' them/put them in their place/teach them"
- "It happened to me/him/her and I/they came out alright"
Child abuse isn't just about those viral videos of babies being kicked down, pushed down, and slapped around in tubs of scalding hot water, or of kidnapped 5-7 year olds being raped or sodomized to death. It can be in abusive actions we have been desensitized to accept as the "norm" and our silence allows it to continue.
All of the following are examples of child abuse:
- engaging in sexual intercourse with a child
- performing sexual acts in front of a child or forcing them to watch such acts eg. pornography and showing genitalia to children and ask them to touch or otherwise engage with it whether it is covered or not
- fondling/groping/poking/pinching/squeezing/grabbing/tickling a child's genitals, inserting anything in them, asking them to touch someone else's or in any other way engage with someone's genitalia
- removing a child's clothing or forcing them to remove their own to beat(physical assault), fondle/touch, photograph, or entertain anyone
- shaking, slamming, choke-slamming, choking, kicking, shoving, biting, stabbing, shouting/screaming at, cursing, degrading, hitting with an object, hitting with a closed fist or open hand, dragging, and throwing things at a child are examples of abusive behaviors. Doing such things in front of a child are also debatable as abuse in some countries due to the psychological damages.
- denying a child health care, medication, treatment for illness, and monitoring of their health stats by trained professionals.
- denying a child food, starving them, forcing them to pleasure or otherwise entertain others for food, forcing them to eat on the floor or with animals or out of the garbage
- denying a child clean clothing, bedding, shelter etc. Forcing them to sleep on the floor, with animals (eg. dog kennel), outside the home, on stairs, in garages or porches etc
Some people simply repeat what they know, what they have experienced, and what they have seen others doing. They convince themselves that nothing is wrong with their abuser(s) or themselves and may find themselves acting out accordingly, causing harm to others and defending their own abusive actions as the norm, all that they know, not that bad, or something that can't be helped. People that encourage and enable abuse have a devastating impact on abuse cases. They are inadvertently (and sometimes quite intentionally) silencing, shaming, and blaming the victim and boosting the abuser's confidence and actions, thus worsening the abusive situation and often helping to perpetuate the cycle. Consider too, that there are abusers who know exactly what they are doing and intentionally seek to harm children. One child's silence allows the abuser to continue having an unsuspected reputation and easily prey on others, which is often the case.